'Twas a Few Nights Before a French Quarter Christmas
Photo: justanuptowngirl |
When all through my shotgun double
Not a creature was stirring
'Cept a child outside with a face full of rubble...
The place I lived while in New Orleans was a "shotgun double" style cottage with a front door that opened directly to an uneven cobblestone sidewalk. Not technically in the French Quarter — It was in a neighborhood called the Marigny, a short walk away.
There was a fair amount of activity and pedestrian traffic along that uneven cobblestone walk, so I didn't get up to investigate every noise....
The clickety-clack of horses hooves pulling carriages...
The occasional organized parade...
Or just some guy playing tuba...
... because most passersby were revelers headed to and from nearby Frenchman Street bars.
But one night — just before Christmas — I heard something I couldn't ignore. In fact, there arose such a clamor, I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
No, not a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, silly.
A child!
There was a child at my doorstep! Face down, arms and legs akimbo. Poor little guy had done a face plant on the cobblestone walk.
"Oh my God, Sweetie! Are you alright?!" I asked? A lecture was forming in my throat.
"You can't be wandering around after dark by yourself," I was thinking. I looked right and looked left scanning the streets for his guardian. And just before I asked the child about his mother, he called out to her himself.
Or not.
"Mother Fu****!" he shouted. "I spilled my beer."
He got up without acknowledging me at all, and marched down the sidewalk muttering angrily into his empty cup.
Wait, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
'Twas not a child, but a midget. A drunk midget who'd spilled his beer!
I've mentioned before that you can't make stuff up that's better than what actually happens in New Orleans. This short story is not a tall tale. That's a Christmas promise.
Posted by TheWordWire at 12/16/2009 12:59 PM 
Categories: N'awlins Gumbo
Tags: New Orleans Holidays Midget Beer
Categories: N'awlins Gumbo
Tags: New Orleans Holidays Midget Beer
Your blog posts always get me to react! This one made me laugh!
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I'm glad it gave you a chuckle. Thanks for stopping by!
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I feel like I am home again reading your story. Thank you for the reminder that we can't always trust our first impressions. Investigation is KEY! And it makes for a much better story.
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I know you miss New Orleans. It's a place worth missing!
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who are you calling a midget? (just kidding. it wasn't me. i don't drink beer.)
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