It's hard for me to believe, but I was welcomed to fabulous Las Vegas six years ago today. In Vegas years, that's a lifetime.

When I travel, It's not uncommon for people to ask me what it's like to live here. And they're not looking for a local's take on the weather. They don't care about how fast it's grown, its history, economy or infrastructure. They're asking about the lifestyle.

Do you gamble all the time, or what?

To put it simply: No. I claim you can't live here long if the siren song of slot machines constantly beckons.

See, video gaming is everywhere from the 7-11 to the grocery store. And everyday hangouts like restaurants, bowling alleys and movie theaters are, naturally, inside casinos.

During more fruitful times, I played now and again, but I'm thankful it's mostly just white noise in my everyday life. Still, you don't live here for six years without learning some lessons and making some observations.

So for those of you wondering, here's my take on some general life-in-Vegas things. I won't take odds on whether or not this is funny...

Free drinks because you're playing are always expensive. Recognizing this will not stop some from pumping money into a machine "to avoid paying for a beer." The number of times you reach into your pocket is in direct proportion to how many expensive free drinks you've had. Expensive free drinks kill nagging brain cells — Only the ones that hold information about what you've won are retained. Therefore, winnings are easily calculated. Math is uncomplicated when you never subtract. There's no messy accounting. Past losses have already been written off. Plus, some scenarios just don't count at all. Video poker played while waiting for a restaurant table, for example, is not gambling. It's just killing time. It's customary to wait for your dining companion to play a throw-away $20 all the way down, even once your table is ready. Cashing out with $5 on the machine is bad form... a wasted opportunity. Perspective is not required when the dinner tab comes. Balking at the price is acceptable. Any expensive free drinks consumed beforehand do not hinder one's ability to scrutinize charges and calculate exactly 15% tip. If you can figure your share of the dinner bill without a calculator, odds are that you also understand the math of probability. This may not stop you from putting $20 on RED because the roulette wheel landed on BLACK the last three times. And another $20 on EVENS because your gut, now full on an outrageously priced $8 cheeseburger, told you so. Some people won't go near the table games because interaction with other players and dealers is intimidating. But relationships are uncomplicated when you have expensive free drinks delivered to a slot machine. Slots offer an added measure of security because you can tether yourself to the machine. The tether is not just a fashionable accessory. It has an important function, like the spiral cords attached to pens at the bank. One end is clipped to your belt loop, the other to a "Player's Reward Card" inserted in the machine. The reward card is much more valuable than any bank pen. It does the work of the missing brain cells, and keeps a cumulative tally of every dollar you've ever played there. Not for the casino's marketing intelligence. For YOU. Because gambling earns points toward expensive free things. Like that pricey cheeseburger you just had to buy with cash — $100 bucks worth of reward points could've gotten that baby for free!