Bearing Witness to a Bare Bum: A Mystery
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| Photo: wonderlane |
"Uh-huh..."
"Yeah..."
"Uh-huh..."
Went the conversation of a woman at the table behind me. It was one side of a cell phone chat, which to my ear was boring and routine. Her role in this discussion was clearly to listen while the other party got something off his or her chest. But she was more engaged with the Internet than her friend.
I was even less interested, of course, until I overheard an out of context snippet of the story...
Went the conversation of a woman at the table behind me. It was one side of a cell phone chat, which to my ear was boring and routine. Her role in this discussion was clearly to listen while the other party got something off his or her chest. But she was more engaged with the Internet than her friend.
I was even less interested, of course, until I overheard an out of context snippet of the story...
"So was the guy naked when he went in?"
My blogger antennae shot up along with my eyebrows and adrenaline. Her tone, however, was casual and even, as if she'd just asked about the weather.
There was an agonizing two second pause while I casually lingered by the cinnamon buns hoping to find out what came next. I presume the caller used that time to clarify which naked guy, because the next snippet was even more interesting than I expected.
My blogger antennae shot up along with my eyebrows and adrenaline. Her tone, however, was casual and even, as if she'd just asked about the weather.
There was an agonizing two second pause while I casually lingered by the cinnamon buns hoping to find out what came next. I presume the caller used that time to clarify which naked guy, because the next snippet was even more interesting than I expected.
"The bum," the monotone woman said. "Did he have anything on when he went in?"
At this point, I wanted to unplug the espresso machine and shush the barista, who was asking me for the second time what I wanted. Oh, the misfortune of timing. I did not hear what came next.
I didn't have the nerve to go introduce myself as a reporter for TheWordWire.com. And that's a shame, because I know you all are wondering too.
At this point, I wanted to unplug the espresso machine and shush the barista, who was asking me for the second time what I wanted. Oh, the misfortune of timing. I did not hear what came next.
I didn't have the nerve to go introduce myself as a reporter for TheWordWire.com. And that's a shame, because I know you all are wondering too.
Who was this person she was talking to?
And what were the circumstances that surrounded bearing witness to a bare bum?
More importantly, does this happen often? The casual "not another naked bum story" attitude of the woman in the coffee shop suggests it does.
And what was this guy going into anyway? A dressing room? A phone booth? A swimming pool?
Was he the only naked guy, or what?
Sorry guys... for all I know, the storyteller looked something like this...
But I just didn't get the scoop. Still, these questions are begging to be answered. I couldn't guess how to fill in these blanks, but I'm wondering... could you?
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