TheWordWire.com: Mirror Mirror On the Wall

Mirror Mirror On the Wall


Photo: Reuters

This isn't the first post to poke fun at pageants,so I'm forced to ask myself: Why do I care? What about this microcosm of culture is so irresistible to mock? Perhaps because the contestants portray themselves as humble, merely auditioning for the role of Princess Snow White, when we all know that's a fairy tale. It was the Evil Queen who talked to the mirror — The one who competed to be fairest of them all.

Or maybe it's just because I'm grumpy.

Either way, I'm contemplating this today because I read that our new Miss Universe will be crowned tomorrow in the Bahamas.

Fairest in the Universe.

That's a pretty big kingdom for her highness. The Pope doesn't even reign supreme over other planets, but this person will represent us in the solar system, the galaxy and beyond. And it's not even democratic! If there is other intelligent life somewhere out there, let's just hope they're too evolved to care.

In any case, the Miss Universe Pageant is evidence that contests of beauty span the globe. Here are some others that are less universal...

Five Non-Traditional Beauty Pageants
MISS BUEN PASTOR PRISON Bogada, Colombia Apparently womens' prison pageants are not all that uncommon. Inmates in Brazil and Russia compete for respective crowns. This story is from the Buen Pastor Prison in Colombia. It's in honor of the Virgin Mercedes, Patron Saint of Prisoners. Source: prisonphotography Photo Credit: Fabio Cuttica
MISS LANDMINE Cambodia I almost didn't include this one because I don't want to make fun of, or further exploit these little girls. But it is an eye-opening reminder of a problem war-torn countries face: land mines. It strikes me that a beauty contest, to be judged by online vote, is the means of raising awareness for this issue. Pageants are otherwise illegal in Cambodia. Source: ABC News
MISS MORAL BEAUTY Riyadh, Saudi Arabia With her face and body completely covered by the black head-to-toe abaya mandatory in the conservative Muslim kingdom, 18-year-old Mullah was named "Queen of Beautiful Morals" last month. Instead of evening gown and swimsuit competitions, the winner and two runners-up had to undergo a three-month test of their dutifulness to their parents and family, and their service to society. Photo and Source: AFP
MISS PLASTIC HUNGARY Budapest, Hungary Affordable prices at private clinics have apparently made Hungary a popular destination for cosmetic surgery patients. I guess that's why 100 contestants will compete to be Miss Plastic Hungary this October. But a plain botox injection will not suffice. "The entry requirement is a surgical procedure done under general or local anesthesia," said Reka Bodis, press director of the pageant. Photo and Source: Reuters
MISS SENIOR UFO Alabama, USA The town of Fyffe, AL attracted international attention with a string of UFO sightings in the late 80's and earned it the nickname "UFO capital of Alabama." In all of Alabama? A proud distinction, indeed. So they have an annual festival to celebrate. Last year's featured the first-ever Miss Senior UFO Pageant. It was followed by Christian and Gospel music along withan antique tractor show and Civil War reenactment. Duh. Photo and Source: Mabusrevelations