TheWordWire.com: Pour Some Cold Water On Me: A Guide for Parents

Pour Some Cold Water On Me: A Guide for Parents

We've already established that The Karma Chameleon Is Coming For You — To some degree, we've come to terms with the fact that 80's fashion is back. So I don't know why I was surprised by what I happened across this morning. Hide your daughters and "Sister Christians," people — The "Hair Band" look is predicted to encore next.

Trendhunter.com

If the Michel Berandi Spring 2010 lookbook is any indication, next spring’s must-have accessory for men will be super-long hair—80s hair band-style.

Photo (left): Trendhunter

Forget sugar, pour some cold water on me, would ya? I felt all hot and bothered when I saw this... Like I was coming down with something. Suddenly I heard my Mother's voice in my head and felt sympathy. It's clear now, her tone was panic, not totalitarianism...

"You're gonna be Livin' on a Prayer, young lady, if you keep that attitude. I told you. You are NOT going unchaperoned to any Bon Jovi concert."

Oh, the drama she suffered for imposing such unreasonable conditions on a fourteen year-old.

She would have been about the age I am now.

Ahem.

It got me to thinking: Some of you reading this probably have young children. You're bracing for this kind of future conflict. How can you know what to expect?

So I did some math and made a few predictions. It's based on the idea of recycled trends. If it's true that nostalgia runs in 20-year cycles, the handy chart will give you an idea, at least in terms of fashion, of what to expect when your growing little one bounds down the stairs with his or her first set of car keys...

*What Trends Might* Come Around Again** Only time will tell... What do you think?

CURRENT AGE: 11-14 ALL THE RAGE WHEN THEY COME OF AGE: Early 90's Trends The spandex catsuit was briefly popular in the early 90's, and everyone wanted their navels pierced. But Kurt Cobain sporting grunge "anti-fashion" was the preeminent wardrobe role model of the time, of course. Prepare for your teen to emulate the look of a homeless lumberjack — disintegrating jeans and lots of flannel... preferably picked up from a thrift store and unwashed since 1992. Images (L-R): 1,2 Wikipedia, 90's 411

CURRENT AGE: 7 - 10 ALL THE RAGE WHEN THEY COME OF AGE: Late 90's Trends Oops all over again. The Britney-inspired bare midriff might make a comeback. Or maybe your kid will be into Marylin-Manson style goth. That might be lucky if the other end of the pop-star look-a-like spectrum comes true: Leather pants to be in sync with the likes of N'Sync look expensive. I'm guessing they're even pricer if tagged "vintage" and slightly used. Images (L-R) Hollywood News, wikipedia, Starpulse

CURRENT AGE: 3 - 6 ALL THE RAGE WHEN THEY COME OF AGE: Early 00's Trends Start imagining your darling three year-old in a trucker hat and aviator glasses, because that just might be in again. Let's hope they're not pairing them with a resurgence of Daisy Dukes and tramp stamps. It's likely that you'll be dealing with some dramatic emotion even of the music and fashion of "emo" doesn't come back. If it does, expect eyes hidden behind dyed black hair, and boys wearing girls pants. Images (L-R): Buy Costumes, Popology, Emo-Corner

CURRENT AGE: Infant - 2 ALL THE RAGE WHEN THEY COME OF AGE: Late 00's Trends Mamas, it's not likely your babies'll grow up to look like cowboys. Most likely we'll have come full-circle to fashions of the present day. That, um, I suppose, doesn't too look funny... yet. Just you wait. Images (L-R): DenimBlog, Wikipedia, American Apparel (top rated mens wear).