Photo Credit: Barbara Porto

I have met several people in my travels who are, on some level, afraid to visit the South. The deep south, where all men are ignorant and lawless. The women are plastic and slow. People talk funny there. And marry their cousins. They're all friendly, but pretty much crazy from the heat.

Oh sure, these cautious types know intellectually that everyone in the south isn't either barefoot and sweaty or Scarlett O'Hara types. But stereotypical assumptions die hard. And even southerners themselves foment the ideas that make outsiders freak out.

While I was living in New Orleans, my friend Cecilia, also living there at the time, had a visitor from New York. It was his first trip to the south, and I think he was pleasantly surprised. Still, he was on the lookout for evidence. Little clues to confirm his suspicions that those stereotypes had some shade of truth.

We were in the car downtown riding parallel to the mighty Mississippi River. We got to the bridge that crosses it, which was marked with a big green sign.

"Oh. My. God," the visitor gasped. His tone said he'd found the proof that he needed. He pointed at the transportation marker and half asked, half accused...

"You people name your bridges after pageant queens?!"


Hey, don't laugh! it's a perfectly reasonable question. I'm sure somewhere there is a MISS RIVER who deserves a city landmark named in her honor. And you know she's not from somewhere like Vermont or New Hampshire. Uh-uh. That sequin-clad parade-waver is totally from the south.

It's not just bridges that might get named after beauty queens. There is an entire state with venerable things named like pageant winners...

    Miss Substance Abuse Services, Department of Mental Health
    Miss Highway Safety Patrol
    Miss Homeland Security, office of
    Miss Ethics Commission
    Miss Motor Vehicle, Department of
    Miss Port Authority

And the most beautiful Mississippi Queen of them all...

    Miss State Penitentiary

Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy? Come on — There's just no reason not to want to visit the south.

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