Photo Credit: Thowra_UK

It used to happen all the time. When I was just starting out on my own in the world—old enough to speak for myself, but too young to realize that "normal" is relative—I'd turn a phrase I'd spent my whole life hearing, only to be met with blank stares or unexpected laughter.

I think to some degree, every family has its own language. Inside jokes and shared experiences combine with regional slang to become common speech. The informal language in my childhood household was a mixture of Newfoundland and Alabama, both places known for rich, oft-amusing colloquialisms. Add my father's talent for making up words and phrases, and you've got one weird world. I had no idea it was different in other families, of course. As a child, I just absorbed it all without context.

At this point, I've figured out what's real and what's family; what's southern and what's newf. But there is one expression I have no idea from whence it came. We still use it a lot in my family, but I'm sparing with it to outsiders. Because it's powerful... It's something you say when a situation requires some diplomacy; when anger needs to be diffused. It means "settle down" or "don't get upset." I have not yet said it to someone who saw it coming. They're so stunned by the suggestion that they stop in their tracks, wait two beats, and fall out laughing.

This kind of weapon against angst should not be a secret. If you've heard this before, please educate me on it's origin. If not, just tuck it in your back pocket for later use. The next time someone gets all uppity and agitated with you or in your presence, just tell them: "hey, don't get your ass up over your shoulders."

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